I’m the kind of wife who does not fit into the stereotypical cooking and cleaning wife that society expects. I am the one in the house who cuts the grass, tiles the floors, uses power tools and is the one who is in charge of fixing things around the house. Why? Because I love it. My husband has no interest in it and is glad to pass on the jobs to me. So he watches the kids while I do all that. Does that make me the man of the house? No. Do people think that? Yes.
My husband has been the subject of ridicule because his wife does the “man’s jobs”. Insert major eye roll here. He tries to let it roll off his shoulders but I know it does hurt his ego especially when certain people keep mentioning it and taking jabs at him. Idiots. Every woman should be so lucky to have a husband who takes amazing care of the kids. Stop shaming men who put in their fair share of parenting!
Now, because I do male dominated jobs, that does not mean that him and I deal with hurtful or painful situations the same. He grew up with a very tough father and only brothers. He was taught to get over it, hold it in or fight it out and move on. That’s how they dealt with things. I take things in, overthink and over analyze, and a lot of times, wildly overreact with tears. A hurtful word or phrase might not seem like a big deal to him, but to a me, it can create a deep wound that takes time to heal. Poor guy. It was a steep learning curve for him to learn how to live with a woman like me versus his brothers.
The bible calls the woman the weaker vessel. Not the less important vessel. This is my favourite analogy that my dad shared with my husband before we married (my dad knows I can be a handful at times!) Take a coffee mug and a crystal wine glass. Both hold the same amount of liquid. Both serve a purpose. Bang the coffee cup on the counter, it’s unlikely to break. Do the same with the wine glass and it will most likely shatter. My husband, the mug, is built differently from me, the wine glass. Both of us are useful, both of us are needed, but we react differently. My dad was telling him that he should always take that into consideration when dealing with me.
To be fair, my mom and dad also made sure that I understood to always treat my husband with respect. I love you mom and dad; I’ll never forget your words.
My dad’s analogy helped my husband understand me very well, especially with him coming from a house of all boys. I do “manly” (ugh…I hate using that word) jobs around the house, but I am also an emotional person who can “shatter” given the right scenario. Poor guy has had to deal with it more times than I can count. I’m fortunate that I have a husband that has lovingly learned to handle those moments with me. And I also love that he knows I can be one strong MF who can’t be messed with and he loves that about me too!